Meeting embryo donor # 1

I know a lot of you have been dying to hear how the meeting with the donor family went. Aaron and I had a lot to take in and needed time to do so. So we appreciate your patience in waiting to hear how it went. 

I will start by saying that we were happy with the meeting and we considered it to be successful. We had a lot to talk about. We stayed for nearly 2.5 hours just discussing each other’s lives, the adoption agreement, and sharing photos. It turns out we weren’t there to meet a donor family. To our surprise, we met only with the biological mother of the embryos. At the beginning of our meeting she shared with us that her and her husband are now divorced. While when they created their profile to search for a recipient they were together, they have since separated. This came as a shock to us. There were multiple times through e-mail that I mentioned her husband, leaving opportunity for her to share their current marital status. Regardless of that news, we continued on with our meeting, chatting away.  When we left we shared hugs and said how nice it was to have met each other. We both left knowing we each had a lot to think, pray, and discuss about.

So that’s what Aaron and I did. We drove back to our hotel room discussing our thoughts. We took all Sunday night and all day Monday to let everything settle in. We ended up coming to the conclusion that this particular donor is not a match for us. We believe the divorce between her and her husband will make it hard to have the relationship we originally envisioned. We also felt a little mislead by the breaking news of the divorce. Lastly, she, the biological mother of the embryos, wanted more in an open relationship then we are comfortable with.  I have contacted the donor mother to share our decision with her. This was a difficult thing to do but she was very comforting. She understands that not everyone is looking for the relationship she is seeking. We both wished each other luck in finding a match and she said if anything were to change to contact her.

Although we did not find our match, we feel well. This was a big step in us finding our donor. It has given us a greater understanding of how this part of the process should go. It would have been so easy to have just gone with it, getting the embryos and completing the process with this donor. But we knew, along with our families, that it wasn’t the right match for us. Colossians 1:11 explains how I am feeling about this stepping-stone in our journey.

“May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy,”

 I feel so strengthened and joyous by making the decision to wait for the right match. We are not to the end of our journey but the Lord is blessing us throughout it. We feel this just as much as we feel your love, support and encouragement. Thank you for that! For now, we continue to remain open and see what other options the Lord brings our way.


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